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If shark weeks comes soon I’m going to kill myself. Why. Better make sure to pack plenty of panties for the drive home. Fuck.

I just wanna cry. I don’t even know why. I’m just so stressed out about so many things, I can’t even pinpoint what’s really bothering me. This whole situation with moving and knowing I’ll be away from Steven for awhile is just so overwhelming for me. I hate whining about this, because I am choosing to pursue a career I have always wanted, but it’s just becoming so real and it’s hard to not stress. Ugh.

Baby Axel 😢

Now I’m crying. Because it’s all I can think about. Why do I do this to myself. And why can’t I learn to live with this without it eating away at me until I break down. I feel like the mourning will never end. It feels like it wasn’t that long ago, that’s how strong these feelings are. But they won’t subside. It hit me so hard I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be at peace with what happened.

We watched The Birdcage and honestly I was okay til it ended. Cause all I could think about was the fact that he’s really gone. I’ve been watching his movies all my life and even listening to his stand up. It’s still a hard pill to swallow..

If Steven’s mother ever talks about him on Facebook, she tags him. Like even if he isn’t relevant to the conversation. She posted a picture of her son, who looks just like his dad, and has to tag Steven saying they look just alike. Even though this kid is a spitting image of his dad. Like stop lying to get attention.

Steven told me not to blog about what happened but it’s literally my only way of venting. But I know it scared him so much that he doesn’t want it typed anywhere on the internet. Ugh. I’ll probably call my dad tomorrow to talk about it. This is killing me.

Oh my god how fucking fake are these people.

One of the health/sex ed teachers at my old highschool died of cancer. And everyone is talking about how nice and sweet she was and how she’ll be missed.

Everyone fucking hated this lady. Everyone. She was a witch. Stop being fake ass bitches to seem sympathetic and sweet. Just because someone dies doesn’t magically make them a decent person. Ugh I can’t stand these people. Time to clean out my friends list.

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